Home Forums Parents of Pre-Teen Girls | 10-13 Years Old I’ve never talked with my 10 year-old daughter about porn. How do I start? Reply To: I’ve never talked with my 10 year-old daughter about porn. How do I start?

AvatarRowena Thomas

How can we talk to our child about pornography in age appropriate ways?

Life presents itself with many opportunities to talk about pornography in music clips, television, online games, you tube, and social media -so point them out and always use these opportunities. What you say of course will depend on the age of your child.

For example with pre-schoolers you could say something like this…
If you ever see nude pictures or videos on a computer or ipad this is called pornography. This is not safe or good to look at. It’s definitely not for kids because they show people often hurting each other or touching each other’s private parts. If you see them, I will be really proud of you if you tell me. You wont be in trouble. I am telling you this because I want you to be safe and pornography is dangerous.

With older pre-teen children, and if you have talked about sex, then you could also say …they are actors who are paid to hurt each while they are having sex, it looks like they are having fun but it’s not real.

Questions to ask your preteen could be;
Have you ever heard of pornography? Have any of your classmates talked about or seen something called pornography? Have you ever seen any pictures of nude people online or in real life? How did it make you feel? Has anyone ever shown you nude pictures or have your friends ever seen them or talked to you about them? What would you do if you saw a nude video online? What if you were at a friends house/on the bus/in the playground and they showed you pornography what would you do? If you have a question about sex where would you look to find out the answer? Did you know that if you tell me that you have seen pornography I will be proud of you for telling me? Do you know what you could do if you see pornography? (close your eyes, look away and tell a trusted adult asap. Did you know that pornography is dangerous? Did you know that you can find pornography anywhere online? (also mention the social media platforms that your child and their friends use). Who do you think that you could tell besides me that you have seen pornography or that you are worried about it?