How to talk to your kids about porn.

Parents, our young people are watching online porn. In this video series, I will teach you the risks of pornography and what you must say to keep your sons and daughters safe. There is only one solution that works.

I’m John Van Arnam. I’m a dad and a coach who has spent the last fifteen years of my life helping parents and educators governments and tech companies figure out how to protect children from viewing online pornography.

What you’ll learn in this series

Young people can easily find pornography on their laptops, smartphones, even their xbox and playstation game consoles.

That is not your child’s fault.

Curiosity about sex is natural and normal, and without discussions in advance of this curiosity, our American young people look for the answers to their questions by watching online porn. When they see porn without guidance from a parent or trusted adult, they don’t understand that it’s not real.

The risks, however, are real. The research shows that exposure to pornography is not healthy for young peoples’ developing minds and bodies. You can try blocking porn sites or filtering searches, but that historically has not worked. The tech and porn industries are not going to fix this for us.

Parents, the good news is that YOU are the solution, you can solve this in a matter of moments, and we’re here to help you.

Is it going to be uncomfortable? A little.

Are you capable of doing it? Absolutely.

Sign up now and get the full transcripts of the video series…

Get the Transcripts

Need more help?

If you want more in-depth information, join The Third Talk forum. You’ll get support, expert guidance, and a community of other parents who are facing the same challenges. For one-on-one guidance, book a consultation with me, and in one session I can set you and your family on a path toward a porn free adolescence.

Don’t Think Your Kid is at Risk?


Research has shown that young people who are exposed to online pornography are more likely to:

  • believe false and damaging ideas about sex and gender roles after watching porn;
  • take on attitudes that lead to sexual violence and violence against women;
  • start experimenting with sex earlier;
  • engage in risky sexual behaviors;
  • contract sexually transmitted diseases;
  • become pregnant or cause pregnancy;
  • and face a variety of other mental, physical, and emotional challenges.

If you think your son or daughter has not seen pornography online, the chances are that you are wrong. One recent survey published in January of 2020 commissioned by the British Board of Film Classification (BBFC) found that 50% of 11- to-13-year-olds, 65% of 14-to-15-year-olds and 78% of 16-to17-year-olds who participated reported having seen pornography.


Sexual Media and Childhood Well-being and Health, Rebecca L. Collins, Victor C. Strasburger, Jane D. Brown, Edward Donnerstein, Amanda Lenhart, L. Monique Ward Pediatrics Nov 2017, 140 (Supplement 2) S162-S166; DOI: 10.1542/peds.2016-1758X

The effects of pornography on children and young people: An evidence scan. (Research Report). Quadara, A., El-Murr, A. & Latham, J. (2017). Melbourne: Australian Institute of Family Studies.